Let me start by busting a myth: If you’re successful at anything, you’ve also experienced a fail or two.
And, likely, a lot more than one or two.
I’m not sure it’s possible to BE successful without also experiencing failure. Because, if you’re not out there and trying new things and testing out new ideas and concepts while knowing you may fail, it’s difficult to BE a success.
Projects you thought would be a big hit … aren’t. Or they take longer than you planned to catch on. Or maybe they WERE a huge success, and then one day they stopped selling.
Launches crash and burn. Marketing strategies that once worked stop.
I could go on and on. And, these are just entrepreneurial examples. There’s also countless examples if you want to be an author or artist or scientist or inventor, or even climb the corporate ladder.
Thomas Edison experienced over 10,000 failures (which he didn’t call “failures”) before he figured out how to make a light bulb work.
So, I suspect you already know this. It’s not a secret.
But, I also bet you forgot.
Because, unless the fall from grace is really public, you don’t see it. A lot of failures happen behind closed doors. A product doesn’t sell as well as hoped — is that truly something most people are going to see? Probably not. It didn’t sell well so how would anyone outside the business know?
I start here because I’m beginning to believe one of the key attributes all successful people share is their ability to bounce back after they fail.
Because failure is going to happen if you want to become a success. And, the more successful you want to become, the more failure you’ll likely experience.
Now, my take on picking yourself back up after you’ve fallen is maybe a little different than what you heard. You see, I think the first thing you need to do is feel all those crappy feelings.
Yes, feel the anger, the disappointment, the resentment, the jealously, the envy, the shame, the embarrassment, the grief. Stomp your feet. Hit a pillow. Cry.
Do whatever you need to do to move that energy from your body.
Because that’s the only way you’ll be able to stop feeling those feelings.
Feelings just want to be felt. And, if you don’t feel them, they’ll keep following you around, harassing you, until you do.
So, how on earth will you be able to pick yourself up if you’re still stewing? How are you possibly going to focus on taking action to get yourself back on track when you’re still battling rage or grief or wanting to shrink into yourself and hide under your bed?
The answer — you can’t!
That’s why so many people CAN’T pick themselves back up. They may tell themselves they need to beat this, and they have to get back on their horse and all the other rah-rah inspirational motivational messages.
But, it’s just talk. If they feel like crap, it’s going to be tough to take action. Not only because you don’t feel like doing anything when your emotions are out of control, but trying to keep yourself from feeling your emotions is a lot of work, so you’re likely going to be more exhausted than normal.
So, before you do anything, before you get that plan together to beat this thing, let yourself just feel as crappy as you want to. Go ahead, let it all out. Have a big ole pity party for yourself.
And, when all of those emotions have been felt and have moved through you, you may be amazed at how easier everything looks.
(And if you’re wondering exactly how you can get everything you want simply by flipping your perspective? Check out the first episode here.)
If you liked this episode, you may also like my “Love-Based Money and Mindset” book.
Originally published at lovebasedbiz.com on February 18, 2018.